Do you kiss me in your dreams, when nothing has consequences? Do you smile at me and tell me that you love me? Do you give me that secret look which noone else notices or appreciates instead of simply holding back your emotions? In your dreams... whatever it is that lovers do... does it happen? Am I clear and everything else blurry? Is there no limit to the joy you feel in dreams with me? Do you dream of me though I'm this far away? These are questions that you may have and they have only one answer.

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I feel that recently I have been longing to take a breath that's not allowed. I have been struggling to suck in a non-existing gas to satisfy not only my lungs, but my whole being. I have been unable to take the sip from a thirst-quenching spring ripling along on a scorched mid-summer day. Something is missing, though many things are present. I feel somewhat satisfied, yet as a person who has but a cup of water to last him through a year of desert-dwelling, so is my desire for satisfaction multiplied. Am I in search of of a possessable thing, or is it the spiritual I'm after? I doubt it's physical. I have naught that I crave after seriously... at least, not physically. A great person once said 'The key to everything is in moderation,' and on that basis, physically I'm well. I have everything that a Biology teacher preaches as the necessities of maintaining life. Shelter, food, water, all simple and are found bountifully.
Indeed it is the spiritual. But this leads to a question... Is the spiritual truly suficient? I am far too young and, I admit, too immature to know a sure answer. But I believe that it is. As everything in this world is surely going to pass away, and as men leave to the unknown, they take nothing with them, it is not the physical that we should care for more, our corrupted bodies that eventually break down... It is our soul that needs satisfaction and nourishment and caring and developement. It is a spiritual maturity I lack and an unblemished understanding of the lore of religion thatI'm after. Here begins my quest, this moment is a moment of revival for me.
I will quench my thirst.
Adonis

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It has been a while since my last post. Too long. But all's well with me. Very well, tremendous, even brilliant, in fact! School's routineness has been bareable, and life 'on the outside' is not too shabby.
My miss is constantly on my mind, always in my train of thought. She's all I could remember in the mornings from sweet dreams at night. Going to bed, spending those five precious minutes of thought all of us have before surrendering to unconciousness, all I see is her. Sometimes on the daily lonesome bus rides, I smell her fragrance and hear her laughs, bursts of joy that are often embaracingly too loud. Truly, she has become 'the air I need for living,' a stolen phrase of wonderful discription that I won't claim as mine. Neither will I cite it. How can I live on keeping her secret from the world? How could I survive without seeing her every second and talking to her every moment of my life? I doubt I can for much longer.

Adonis

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I'm alive. I'm posting. I'm still a blogger at heart, though it's not so evident any more. I'm not asking for a pardon. If you stopped checking my site, too bad. You're missing out. Anyways, much has gone on. School is as boring as usual, but recently it has an extra-boring indian spice. World Literature sucks. It's bearable though, as only 32 days of school are dauntingly ahead. Life outside of school, though, is tremendously splendid. Relationships are fantastic, friendships are smoothe, and all else is well. I've been accepted into the German Academy in Richmond this summer, and I shall spend three fun weeks there june/july learning German. Should be fun. Other than that, I can't think of much.
Laters...
Adonis

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