They tell me that love comes and goes, like the eternal tide. They tell me that each man can love a hundred women, and each woman a hundred men. They tell me, also, that it's never over, this game we play. The game of love. They tell me that it's much like gambling, except one never runs out of chips. They tell me to just go to sleep, to forget all about what once was, and to move on to something better. They tell me to smile.
But when they're telling me these things, all I can think of, like every other moment of my life, is you. I remember that when you left me, you took with you the tide, and the beautiful sunsets with it. I remember that I've only loved you all my life. I remember how serious our little game was, how magnificently serious. I remember how I loved to gamble with you. I remember that when sleep finally overcomes me in those long, painful nights--nights without goodnights--I always dream of you. And how can I smile, dreaming of you nightly? How can I move on when visions of you come to me at night? Or when I see you crawling into the bed where I'm sleeping, the bed where I'm nothing? You wake me up with a kiss. Not a kiss of betrayal, rather an apologetic kiss, a have me back kiss. How can I smile then?
I can not forget you, no, and no, I can not live without you. You are the fuel for the fire. You are the inspiration for it all. From your hair stems my passion, from your eyes my poetry. Thanks to your smile, I keep alive, and due to your embrace, I am whole. From your lips the songs of life proceed, from your tenderness warmth beyond measure. Your thought makes me question, your kiss gives me flavor. Every day, I am more thankful I met you, every day more mournful I lost you.
I picture you every second of my life. I loved nothing more than loving you, I love nothing more still. I lost my great inspiration, then, with your departure; I lost my love, my hobby, my entertainment, my heart. I am gradually losing my sanity and my fire. I am certainly broken.
I think maybe one day I'll send you this letter, and you might receive it, even though you are worlds away. Then, I wonder what you'll feel. I certainly hope you don't feel regret. I wonder, what do I want you to feel?
Yours wholeheartedly,
Myself.
{kwoo§hie}* said...
i think i might cry.
so true
so beautiful.