I ask myself what might have been if we weren't separated--if those children that are so vibrant in my memory ever grew up.
I ask myself, would we have still competed each year for top class honors? I wonder, how many years would it have taken me to tell you how beautiful I thought you were? How many boring teachers would we have endured together in the same muggy classroom before we started sitting next to each other, joking and enjoying our time? Would we have gone to a deeper level, I wonder? Would we have passed notes, or held hands? Would we have spent mornings before school, sharing delightful senseless and meaningless conversations? These thoughts eat at me whenever I think of you.
What would have become of us, I ask? Would we have been merely acquaintances, or best of friends through thick and thin? Could we perchance have shared a deeper bond?
I really hate that so much was stolen from me. Everything... my home was taken--my bedroom, my front yard, my fig trees, my cat... It pains me that I didn't fully grow up in my country, on my land, amongst my people. It kills me that in one day, I lost my friends, I lost all those I loved. One day you were there--beautiful brown eyes, long hair, wide smile--the next, without saying goodbye, I had left all behind.
And I miss you, I miss you very much. I do not lie if I say I am in love with you, purely and utterly infatuated with your beauty.
I love you. I've said it.
said...